Helping aging parents move into a senior living or assisted living environment can be overwhelming, and emotions can easily escalate. Here are 12 tips for managing those emotions during difficult conversations with elderly parents. 

1. Expect that this will be emotional. 

Expect that this is going to be emotional. Know that it is reasonable that this is emotional and that there will be some fallout. Everyone is entitled to their feelings about this transition. Starting this discussion with the understanding that this will indeed be an emotional conversation will help you get through it.

2. Prepare for "the Talk."

Before you have this conversation, take the time to prepare. Here’s how:

• Do a Dress Rehearsal

It can help to talk this conversation through with someone you trust before you bring it up with your loved one (like a dress rehearsal).

This has a couple of benefits:

1. It will help you to clarify exactly what you...

Dear Dr. Koepp, 

My 85 year old dad is calling me multiple times a day. It’s interrupting my time at work. Sometimes he needs something. Sometimes, he just wants to check in. He has someone assisting him, but he’s always calling me. Can you address how to handle an elderly parent who is calling me all day long. 

Thank you, 

Theresa 

Here are five strategies to try If your older loved one or your aging parent is calling you multiple times a day

1. Take the time to understand what's driving this behavior.

It's important to understand what may be prompting this behavior. Is there a new medical illness that's been diagnosed? Is there a worsening of an already established medical condition? Is there a progression of dementia disorder, or fear and anxiety around an existing condition? Are they going through any big changes or anticipating big changes? Like the loss of a loved one or of their home? Have they...

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

There may come a time when you're faced with the conversation of talking with your aging parents about moving into a senior living or assisted living community. Many people dread this conversation.

Even simply starting the conversation can bring up all sorts of worry and feelings of guilt and shame.

If you're facing this situation, it can help to prepare. In today's episode, I share:

• 6 Strategies for setting yourself up for success with the senior living discussion
• Examples of how to start the conversation
• Tips for managing escalation of emotions during this talk
• How to go about finding senior housing or assisted living communities
• The importance of taking care of yourself through it all.

6 Strategies for setting yourself up for success with the senior living discussion

1. Don't wait until there is a crisis

Starting these conversations long before your loved one has a medical,...

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE

Have you ever had the experience of meeting up with a dear friend for coffee or talking with your trusted therapist, and all of a sudden, you stumble into a conversation that's a little scary and emotional? Maybe you hesitate for a minute and ask yourself if you're gonna take the risk and really "go there".

I don't know about you, but when I find myself in these situations with a person I trust, and I make the choice to dive in, I end up learning a lot about myself and having an even closer relationship with the person I'm talking with.

I'm going to ask you to "go there" with me today as I interview Dr. Lauren Marcewicz, Palliative Care Physician. In this interview with Dr. Marcewicz, we have a real conversation about hospice, palliative care, family dynamics, and so much more.

Here's a peak inside my interview with Dr. Lauren Marcewicz:

• [04:49] Dr. Marcewicz shares what drew her to end of life care.
• [08:45] Learn one...

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE

Have you had an end of life conversation with a loved one? What feelings came up for when you read this? Fear? Sadness? Longing? Remorse?

Naturally, when we experience these feelings, we often want to run from them, rather than toward them. 

But, did you know that when we actually pursue end of life conversations with our loved ones, it actually does more good than harm. 

Research shows that end-of-life conversations lead to improved mental health and better-quality of life for both patients and caregivers. Here's how:

• The person dying reports relief and less distress after talking with their loved ones about end of life wishes
• When there is a meaningful conversation about end-of-life choices, survivors report feeling less guilt and less depression and having an easier process of grieving. 

Now that you know end of life conversations can be helpful, in this podcast episode, I...

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

You may be surprised to hear that about half of today’s Veterans are 65 and older.

Chances are, if you're caring for an aging parent (65 or older) who served in the military, their service was influenced by WW-II, the Korean War, or the Vietnam War.

Offering the opportunity for your aging...

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST!

In this second interview with MJ Grant, MJ shares the most intimate details of an end of life conversation she had with her dad, Manley "Mannie" Grant.

In this interview, MJ also shares about how it was discovered that her dad was deaf and the information that his family received from professionals about how to communicate with him (unfortunately the guidance Manley's family received was not affirming of him).

My hope is that by watching this video, you will have the courage to lean in to difficult end of life conversations when you are faced with them.

Grab a box of Kleenex! This conversation will leave you moved and inspired!

Read transcript here!

About MJ Grant

MJ is a remarkable woman! She is a CODA,...

The idea of moving your aging parents in with you is complicated and if you're facing this possibility AND you're in a relationship, this can up the ante of complications.

A few weeks ago, I was featured in the Chicago Tribune in an article that had to do with how to go about making the decision to move your aging parents in with you! In today’s episode, I take a deeper dive into what to do if you and your partner don’t agree on moving your aging parents in with you!

[ Read Transcript Here ]

 Today,  I wanted to dive a little deeper and talk about what to do if you and your partner don’t agree on moving your aging parents in with you! 

You and your partner were raised differently. You had different parents, different family structures, different family systems, and different roles and values! Your relationship with your aging parents is unique and your partner’s relationship with their aging parents is unique as...

For the past few weeks,  I’ve been talking with you about safe driving, driving retirement, and talking with aging parents about stopping driving. Well today, I’m gonna share what to do if your aging parent is no longer safe to drive, but is refusing to stop driving. This is incredibly stressful, but my tips in this video will help! 

From time to time, I run across situations in which older adults flat out refuse to stop driving, even after all of the assessments have been completed, their doctor tells them they are NO LONGER SAFE to drive, and their driver’s license has been revoked. 

These situations are really stressful, leaving you in a tight bind. You don’t want to be in conflict with your aging parent (you have dreams of living in a Hallmark aging story), and at the same time, you don’t want your parent putting themselves and others at risk of harm.

You might find yourself to be super...